Thrift store inspiration

Don't know if y'all saw this on Yahoo a couple of days ago, but thought it was incredible! Very inspirational! I haven't fully read her story, but the basic premise is that she lost her job and decided to (or had to) stop spending money on clothing. So instead of giving up clothes for the next year, she decided to take thrift store finds ($1 a piece) and modify them to something she would wear. She always shows you what she starts with and how it ends up. She is making 365 dresses from 365 dollars. So incredible.

Now that is inspiration for any thrift store girl! and you know i like to be thrifty (or just plain cheap).

http://newdressaday.wordpress.com/

one day.... one day I will do this. can't wait to have time to get my sewing machine out again. already have one pattern cut and waiting to go. one day...

Re-learning Kindergarden Lessons

This past week has been a huge growing experience for me. Last week was very difficult. It seems that to join in a conversation at school you have to be complaining about something because that is all we talk about right now. No one scan talk about TV shows or going home or anything else for that matter because no one has any time. So we talk about the one things that we are all focused on: micro and how much it sucks.

Well, joining in on this little ritual was very costly for me. Everything got worse because of it. And, therefore I had more to complain about. And the cycle continues. I know that this is old news, everyone knows how this works but I don't think I have ever experienced it to this degree. You see, as a result of my decision on find the negative, that's all I found. I ate poorly because, "What's the point?" I didn't want to study and procrastinated worse than normal (which is a lot!) because "it doesn't matter, and I don't care anymore." To sum it all up, my anxiety level went through the roof and my energy level and mood went through the floor. It seems that during micro, everything is amplified and this was a prime example .

So, in the middle of this week, I made a change. I began to just thank God for who He is because I was having trouble finding things to be thankful for. Each day since then, I find more and more things to be thankful for. I remember all the ways that I am bless each and every day. I also learn these viruses and am thankful that I will not personally experience most of these viruses. These will not be my daily battle as they will be for some.

It is amazing the simple concepts that take so long to sink in. So, this week, I am on the battle of the mind. I can stay positive because my God is positive. I can quote scripture and know that it is true and that it does matter. It matters the most! So, as I am unable to attend church yet again (and I truly truly miss worshiping to the music and during the sermon), I'll have my own church service here for now. Enjoy your Sunday.

Crazy craziness

Well, micro is officially in full swing. Not like, is underway and everyone is in a groove. More like we're in a boxing match and micro is currently swinging away and landing punches that just seem utterly repetitive and unending kind of way. I would say that it's not that bad but I don't want to lie. So I'll just chalk it up to a tough week. We are basically back in biochemistry: how a virus enters the cell, via what mechanism, how it replicates, etc etc. They tell us that this is important because if we understand the virus and the differences between the virus and our cells we can manipulate that information to make a vaccine. One problem with that justification: the only MD that makes a vaccine is the one that also has the letters PhD also behind his/her name. So our teachers are officially full of bull and no longer trying to hide it.

This block is by far the toughest that we've been through. I know we are on week 5. Everyone, including myself, is simply exhausted. It's hard to try and care about your grade and to find the motivation to try harder when you keep getting thrown curve balls. The "hard" teacher gives straight-forward (but very detailed) questions and the easy going, laid back teachers who "tell you what was going to be on the test" completely screw you over. Such is life.

But there is some good news to all of this. We're all healthy over here. We're not suffering from any of the viruses, parasites or bacteria that we are studying about. I have my husband here instead of Iraq and I don't have a happy baby that likes to play at 2:30 every morning. There is a lot going on and it's hard to remind myself that I do have a lot to be thankful for. It's so easy to complain, especially when that is what everyone else is doing too. But I've been getting better sleep lately which is a God-send, although I still feel like I could sleep for a week. I have an incredible husband who supports me and fixes me food and talks me through my crazy spells. (haha, you should have seen the check out lady at the grocery last night, she must have thought I was drunk or high...i was simply exhausted, funny funny moments).

So, I have a huge request to ask of all of you. Please send a funny story, a joke, something that makes you laugh. Just need to get my mind off of things and be reminded that there is a world that I will be able to rejoin in 19 days! If you don't want to post something here, send me an email. I'll be anxiously waiting to see what is going on with everyone, what everyone is doing during the day. Any exciting news or just the every day.

To lift my spirits some, and hopefully yours I'll share a little bit about my quiet time these past two days. I've never been more on my face in my entire life as I have been these past two days. Really feeling like I don't know how I am going to go on because I physically don't have the strength. I thought about Paul's verse, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. This verse is anything but a cliche to me right now. When I don't feel like I have the strength to look at another piece of junk that I'll never need to know again in my entire life, he gives me the strength. It is with his strength that I can get up each morning because the fear of missing class has long since left me. When the fear of failure has disappeared in the face of exhaustion, it is ONLY through his strength that I am able to have a smile on my face (besides the one that comes with delirium...which, by the way, is always a medical emergency until proven otherwise, in case you wanted to know).

So, if you are having a rough week like I am, think about that verse in a new way. Not the way the stranger tells it to you while having absolutely no idea what you are going through and simply throwing a bible verse at you. Think about it in the way Paul must have meant it. It was through God's strength that he was aroused back to consciousness after having been beaten to a pulp by rocks thrown as hard as possible at his head. It was His strength that he used to physically pull himself up, emotionally put himself back together, and to continue to walk down a path were he knew it would happen again (which to me is the most amazing part) because he knew he couldn't do anything else.

Well, I apologize for the grim tone of this post, but it helps me to get out there what I'm going through. My pride has kept me miserable for this long, thinking that I could handle this. so, i sit here humbled once again into having to say that I can't handle it.

Well, I think we are turning in early for the night. Please say an extra prayer for us as we face what's ahead, whatever it may be. God only knows (really).

It's Sunday

Micro has put me on the strangest schedule. I hate Friday afternoons and love Mondays. Not sure it gets any weirder than that!!

We had a great visit in Lake Charles. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get any good studying done so we had to come back early. Haven't been feeling great (not horrible, just not right), so that has added to the stress a little on trying to get something done. If you could see me now, i am trying to type a million letters per minute so I can hurry and leave and head to the library and start studying. But to study you have to slow down or else it is a colossal waste of time.

Well, I truly appreciate all the prayers. I need the more now that ever! We had some great visits while we were down on passions, what do you with your time and how to make wise decisions about the future. It was interesting how everyone had a different take on everything. Roger and I talked the entire way back to Shreveport about our dreams, were we want to settle down, what we want to do, when to start trying for children. It was amazing just to dream together about all the possiblities. We are young and have a whole life ahead of us. I can't wait to see what is going to happen.

But for now, it's to the library for me. Pray for me that I am able to soak up all this information and learn everything they have to tell me. It is truly fascinating, and if time would permit, this the study of microbes would truly be a lot more enjoyable! :)

Love you all and am so glad I got to see most of you. It is going to make these next three weeks that much easier.

love always,

Anna

It is Tuesday, right??

I am trying to write every day on my blog. I am finding it to be incredibly therapeutic to have some place to get my thoughts together and keep in touch with everyone. School is getting hard, not the course work, just the ability to find motivation. Everyone at school is getting pretty tired. The jokes are become more morbid; such as:

1 how are you

2 eghhhh

1 yea, we all want to jump off the [8 story building] too

and:

"After that test, I just want to go home and cry"

"Hey! How great would it be for one of us broke down in the middle of the test and started sobbing!! That would be awesome!"

You can't see it, but this makes me laugh. We all feel the same way, and we're all tired but we at least have each other. It pretty funny being this tired. It definitely brings you closer together with your other classmates. This block is bordering on torture and we are all in it together. Everyone shares their struggles that they are going through outside of school. Some seems completely unbearable to me. One girl got married in January, spent 3 days with her new husband only to ship him off for his 2nd tour of Afghanistan. Her husband also just moved to a new part of the base where he no longer has skype (or any private internet) and they don't talk but 5 minutes a day on the phone (while he sits in a public area). I don't know how she does it, she's just amazing. She also is doing all this after having lost her faith in God's goodness. She could use your prayers.

Well, I guess that's about all for today. Not much more to say. Gotta go learn my parasites for today. But don't worry about me after reading this. It's incredible the mood you get into after going through this. It's like taking a 24 hour car ride or staying up all night to do something you have to do. You know it'll end, but you're going to go a little nutty in the process. (Colora--do) You just hope there is no permanent damage! Hahaha. (yea... i might stay this way). And at the end, you are rewarded with know that you have gotten through the worse block of these two years and survived!

Looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel! Really hoping it's not a train! :)

Love you all and thank you for the prayers.

inspiration versus motivation

What is the difference (to you) between inspiration and motivation?

Please comment and let me know what you think. I was talking to someone at church this past Sunday and he gave me his take on the matter. It got me thinking. So, what do you think?

I'll post later what Mr. Lance said.

and you thought engineers were bad...

Test 3 was not fun at all and was pretty tricky. Our professors love to ask minute details that are only relevant to someone studying that organism in a lab whom the powers that be only let out once a year to lecture to medical students. Some of our professors are the definition of a nerdy stereotype. Their jokes are beyond bad. They are not even groan worthy as they have to be announces.

Ex. We're not sure about the sexual reproduction this class of fungi. Some group of people are sitting around in a lab trying to see if they have sex (as oppose to asexual organisms)...that was suppose to be a joke.

...maybe the microbe thought it was funny. I don't know. I can just assume that these guys are so brilliant that they don't let them out of the lab very often! And they are brilliant. They are make some of the major medical advancements in their respective fields. They just haven't updated their wardrobe since the 80s!

New kitchen??

There comes a time in every study period where your brain will turn to mush. That time happened on Saturday afternoon. Roger had been home from work for 2 days and was feeling better but not great. Molly was neglected from both of her parents being occupied and my brain refused to absorb any forms of information, including what I was trying to eat for a snack. So, it was at this moment that we all piled in the car for a ride. Where to? The road. We drove around all over the city, going no where in particular. We did need milk from the grocery store but that seems the one thing that we didn't get on our trip.

To tell you the state of my brain, I volunteered to go to Lowes to look at cabinets and didn't even think to ask for my usual payment of a DQ blizzard!! Shocking, I know!

We looked at their kitchen cabinet options and priced out the cheapest decent kitchen we could put together including new appliances. We were surprised to find some prebuilt cabinets already assembled at Lowes that were a very decent price. The unstained ones were by far the best price. So, this is the direction we are leaning towards for now.

After this, we came home and measured out the kitchen and Roger plugged the values into a program on the Lowe's website. Here is what we came up with.

Our fridge would stay and go in the corner and we would get a smaller stove (than they made in the 50s) and put a small cabinet to the right of it to cover the side of the stove. Molly loves to run around the corner while I'm pulling something out of the oven and it makes me really nervous.
We thought it might be nice to leave that far wall open, without cabinets because any cabinets would cover the window (which we would need to shorten). Still not sure on that idea, we're playing with a few different options.

Behind the wall is the laundry room which will just stay with the existing shelves. Isn't it so neat that the computer put light coming in from there because of the window! so cool.
And here is the view from the back door looking at the dining room doorway. That is a lot of counter space!! We are still up in the air about whether to put in a microwave with the vent over the stove. There is plenty of space for it on the counters but it would be nicer over the stove. Still a toss up right now.

We found some cheap ceramic floor at Lowe's for under 1$ a square foot that we'll probably go with for the floors. We think that there are hard wood floors under the linoleum but would cost 3$ a square foot to redo. It would look great, but ceramic will be fine and much cheaper if we do it our selves.

So this is our prospective kitchen. I reasoned out that I was still studying while working on the kitchen layout. I was studying the environment that bacteria and mold/fungi like to live! Yea, it's a stretch, I know.

So, what do you think? Everyone has their preferences on kitchens and we want to make a good decision on the layout, etc so that someone will eventually want to buy this house for lots of money! Love you all!

Complete H&P

So I did my first H& P today on a real patient. It went amazing only because my M.D. is very easy going and wants us to get the most out of this experience while understanding the current load that we are under. So, Dr. Grier is an ER doctor who works part time in the ICU. She is amazing and her patients love her.

She assigned a my patient who she had admitted to the hospital from the ER for a severe asthma attack that require intubation. It was a very enlightening experience. In our report we have to say who the historian is and if they are reliable or not. Dr. Grier asked me what I thought. I said that she was completely reliable. Well...the patient claimed that she had an asthma attack after smoking a cigarette on Saturday. Her lungs continued to get worse until she began vomiting on Tuesday and had to be rushed to the ER and intubated. For the most part, she was truthful. The only snare is that she was smoking crack instead of a cigarette. So, according to the drug test, the patient was not reliable.

But the most interesting thing about the case that I learned was not about the patient or about medicine. It was about me. When that woman came into the ER, no one cared what had happened to get her into her current situation or whose fault it was. No one cared her race, her economic status or her political views. The only thing anyone was focused on was saving this woman's life. The moment she entered the ER, she was a human being whose body was failing to function.

So many times, in all areas of life, we look at people based on stereotypes. This is not a horrible trait, this is the way we were made. Stereotyping is our way of classifying data in an effecient matter. If we know that one red stove is hot and you should not touch it, you stereotype all red stoves as hot. The evil in stereotypes is not that they exist but it what our stereotypes are.

From this experience and from medical school in general I am learning some valuable lessons:

1. everyone suffers their own battles. everyone is suffering from something. our bodies have ways of adapting to our environment but very very few of us have absolutely no health problems whatsoever. so cute everyone some slack, you have no idea what they are going through.

2. everyone has experiences in their past. we can complain about these experiences as some do or learn from them and become wiser from them, as we see in others we admire.

3. the most important thing that I am oh-so-slowing getting in my thick skull is that not everyone is like me and that is a good thing. Not everyone will think the way I think or vote the way I vote. That doesn't make them any less amazing. I also cannot expect everyone to have the same morals and values that I do. The lady today did crack cocaine and has never had a job. She is lost and looking for something in her life. She's not a bad person. She's a lost person who needs help. Non-Christian people probably will not have Christian values. And if they do, what do they need Christ for?

We all need a Savior. We are all fearfully and wonderfully created. And we all have an incredible amount to offer. The lady in the ICU bed that I spoke with was one of the most easy going, fun loving people. Open hearted and encouraging me, we laughed together as I ask about every manner of her life.

A patient has to trust you for you to treat them. I cannot judge the person while I am trying to treat them. I can alway judge actions as right or wrong, but never ever people. As the bumper sticker says: Even God waits till the end of a person's life to judge.

Ward History and Physical

I do my first Ward H&P tomorrow. That means that I go see my M.D. that I've been assigned. Then, I go meet with an actual patient on the wards. I interview them and get their entire medical history. That means everything!!

What are they in the hospital for and that entire history

What other medical problems do they have and an entire history of each of these.

Their past surgical history, their family history, who they live with, what they do, do they drink? do they have sex with men/women/both? do they use any street drugs, then list everyone that I can think of.

Then a full musculoskeletal and neurological work up with vital signs (since that is all they have taught us how to do).

So basically this will be the most extensive work-up this patient has ever had. Then we get graded on a verbal and written presentation. So...pretty nervous about all of this. I have done all this before an a standardized patient (or mock patient) who knew I didn't know what I was doing. But this is the first time on an actual patient who will view me as a doctor (so they tell me). It's pretty scary thinking that I'll have someone's life in my hands one day. But this is the best way to learn. I plan on making the most of this experience. I just hope I remember to ask everything!

Wish me luck!

Wild Wednesday

This is more of a place to update my friends and family on what is going on in our day-to-day lives. Being in medical school and studying all the time means that I don't have much variety in my life, but I'm OK with that, as long as there is an end date.

Yesterday was kinda fun and a little different. I was struggling to study and stay focused. Roger came home at 5:30 and we were suppose to be at a spouses dinner for the first years at 6. The dinner is for first year married couples to meet with second year married couples to get advice, encouragement and contacts. Well, Roger came home sounding like James Earl Jones, his throat sore and not feeling well, so we decided to stay home instead.

Immediately, being the doctor-in-training that I am, I set up a recovery schedule for the night. We sat and talked about his day and just anything until 6:00. At that time I went and made us eggs in a basket (multiple ways so i could get the hang of it) and waffles. It took me a while to get the hang of eggs over easy, especially the over part. Molly got the first egg and didn't complain at all that I had broken the yoke. Then Roger and I ate our wonderful breakfast for dinner.

Next on the agenda was to watch two shows on hulu. Since we had already watched the new Burn Notice, it was Covert Affairs and an episode of The Good Guys. After that, Roger was to relax for the next hour and a half, not doing anything. His options were to take a bath or play on the computer. He complied with my request, only because he didn't want to fight his doctor. I spent that time studying. We both went to bed at 9:30 and both got some much needed sleep. Even Molly was hard to wake up this morning.

I told Roger that he had to call into work today so that he could rest and get better. He has not yet received his doctor release to go back to work tomorrow. Although I have enjoyed his new deep voice, making him say all kinds of fun things, from radio commentary to television commercials, I want him to feel good again. But with any cold, it's simply a process of waiting it out.

Well, that's all the excitement for now. I have a day full of studying today and a real patient to interview tomorrow, so I have to brush up on my exam skills. adios.