Crazy craziness

Well, micro is officially in full swing. Not like, is underway and everyone is in a groove. More like we're in a boxing match and micro is currently swinging away and landing punches that just seem utterly repetitive and unending kind of way. I would say that it's not that bad but I don't want to lie. So I'll just chalk it up to a tough week. We are basically back in biochemistry: how a virus enters the cell, via what mechanism, how it replicates, etc etc. They tell us that this is important because if we understand the virus and the differences between the virus and our cells we can manipulate that information to make a vaccine. One problem with that justification: the only MD that makes a vaccine is the one that also has the letters PhD also behind his/her name. So our teachers are officially full of bull and no longer trying to hide it.

This block is by far the toughest that we've been through. I know we are on week 5. Everyone, including myself, is simply exhausted. It's hard to try and care about your grade and to find the motivation to try harder when you keep getting thrown curve balls. The "hard" teacher gives straight-forward (but very detailed) questions and the easy going, laid back teachers who "tell you what was going to be on the test" completely screw you over. Such is life.

But there is some good news to all of this. We're all healthy over here. We're not suffering from any of the viruses, parasites or bacteria that we are studying about. I have my husband here instead of Iraq and I don't have a happy baby that likes to play at 2:30 every morning. There is a lot going on and it's hard to remind myself that I do have a lot to be thankful for. It's so easy to complain, especially when that is what everyone else is doing too. But I've been getting better sleep lately which is a God-send, although I still feel like I could sleep for a week. I have an incredible husband who supports me and fixes me food and talks me through my crazy spells. (haha, you should have seen the check out lady at the grocery last night, she must have thought I was drunk or high...i was simply exhausted, funny funny moments).

So, I have a huge request to ask of all of you. Please send a funny story, a joke, something that makes you laugh. Just need to get my mind off of things and be reminded that there is a world that I will be able to rejoin in 19 days! If you don't want to post something here, send me an email. I'll be anxiously waiting to see what is going on with everyone, what everyone is doing during the day. Any exciting news or just the every day.

To lift my spirits some, and hopefully yours I'll share a little bit about my quiet time these past two days. I've never been more on my face in my entire life as I have been these past two days. Really feeling like I don't know how I am going to go on because I physically don't have the strength. I thought about Paul's verse, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. This verse is anything but a cliche to me right now. When I don't feel like I have the strength to look at another piece of junk that I'll never need to know again in my entire life, he gives me the strength. It is with his strength that I can get up each morning because the fear of missing class has long since left me. When the fear of failure has disappeared in the face of exhaustion, it is ONLY through his strength that I am able to have a smile on my face (besides the one that comes with delirium...which, by the way, is always a medical emergency until proven otherwise, in case you wanted to know).

So, if you are having a rough week like I am, think about that verse in a new way. Not the way the stranger tells it to you while having absolutely no idea what you are going through and simply throwing a bible verse at you. Think about it in the way Paul must have meant it. It was through God's strength that he was aroused back to consciousness after having been beaten to a pulp by rocks thrown as hard as possible at his head. It was His strength that he used to physically pull himself up, emotionally put himself back together, and to continue to walk down a path were he knew it would happen again (which to me is the most amazing part) because he knew he couldn't do anything else.

Well, I apologize for the grim tone of this post, but it helps me to get out there what I'm going through. My pride has kept me miserable for this long, thinking that I could handle this. so, i sit here humbled once again into having to say that I can't handle it.

Well, I think we are turning in early for the night. Please say an extra prayer for us as we face what's ahead, whatever it may be. God only knows (really).